Friday, February 22, 2013

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Drop the Sand, Grasp the Diamonds.

Do you remember playing in the sand as a child and trying to keep a hand full of the tiny grains in your palm? It had to be gripped so tightly to keep any of it. One loosening of the palm and the sand would all fall out.

Your fears, angers, hurts, are like those grains of sand. When you first encounter them, they are huge like a stone. But eventually the stone disappears and what is left behind is sand. You don't feel the stone anymore, but you still grip the grains of sand in your palms, refusing to release them from your hold. 

The grains aren't easily seen by the rest of the world. An outsider would be none the wiser to the specks of stones that you cling so tightly too, protecting your ownership of them.  They are hidden away for you and only you to know, understand, rely on and hold. 

Even though the sand is gritty, you clench it.  It scratches, irritates and distracts.  Not in a way that shows from the outside - no the grains are covered too well in your hand.  But, on the inside the rough grains wear on you. Perhaps your palm as become calloused from the friction, but you hold them even tighter, ensuring that they won't escape.  You don't want to let go.

There's angst in letting them go. It's often easier to hold on to them because they are something you can go back to, something you can deflect blame to, something you can use as your scape goat when you are not shining your brightest.  It's easier to hold on to something rather than to risk letting them go and have nothing. It's easier than having the responsibility and accountability of searching for something better to replace it. 

But, if you ever want to hold the diamonds of life in your hand, you have to loosen your grip and let the sand fall away. What you will then see in the palm of your hand where the fear, anger and hurt used to be, is brilliance, shine, beauty and the multifaceted creature that you are. When you cling too tightly to the sand, there is room for nothing else.  How incredibly sad would it be to go through life with the only the thing that scratched you in your hand?

Women Enough (and Men Enough): You know there is better, happier, more joyful, more fulfilling, things to grasp to. Things that shine and empower - things that allow you to soar, rather than hold you tethered. All you have to do is drop the sand.

What do you need to let fall away today?
As soon as you have done it, can you see the space left to fill with diamonds? 

Friday, February 1, 2013

Excuses or Opportunities - It's Your Choice

Today I will not make excuses.  Instead I will make opportunities.

It is so easy to find a reason not to do something.  Especially when that something is hard, takes you out of your comfort zone, is not something you really want to do, involves change, requires us to stretch...

You get it - It's easy to find excuses to not do the things that are hard work.

There is no doubt that there are interruptions in life that cause you to place things on hold or rearrange plans.  They shake you out of your normal existence and forced you into theirs.  Emergencies happen, people get sick, trauma happens, and you can't control every single thing that is tossed into your path. Those types of things are reasons to take a step back or a detour until that event in life is under control.

The type of thing I am writing about is the excuses you make for not taking action, not making change, not moving forward, not making a hard decision, not moving out of a bad situation - the ones that you do have control in. You have encountered the kind I'm talking about; staying in a bad relationship, not making the changes to be the healthiest you, choosing to not take a chance, deciding to settle for less than you know you want and need.  These things all required an excuse to not take action.

By excuse, I mean CHOICE.

Some of the justification you use for your choice might be:

It's too hard.

It's a lot of work.

I don't think I can.

I won't because I'll probably fail anyway.

I won't be good at it.

I don't like "change".

I'll start tomorrow.

I tried it before and didn't like it.

I'm happy right where I am.

I might make the wrong move.

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

The list goes on and on and on.  I know this. Because I've lived this. I've used these excuses - made these choices to not take action.  It took a lot of work, a lot of thought, and a lot of time to come up with them in many situations.  I worried countless hours, debated back and forth in my head, had out and out arguments between my mind and my heart,  and exhausted myself emotionally - which translates to physically about why I should not do something.

I put a lot of effort in and found tons of excuses - choices to take no action. I bet you have too.

Think of how sweet life would be if you put the same, or even a portion of the effort in to finding an opportunity that you put into making excuses! If you are willing to put effort into making choices to not do something, then why are you so hesitant to take just one step toward the action? It could be fear, doubt, denial, stubbornness, or even your own addiction to your unhappiness that keeps you making excuses.

But just, what if... that one opportunity found and explored opened up greatness in your life? Even if it didn't, what harm is done by investigating it?

Women Enough: I know what it is to stay stuck because of my own choice to not take action.  Life is so sweet when you take back your power to choose your action and find opportunity.  Sometimes situations change right away and sometimes they don't.  Either way,  there is growth, strength, and empowerment with choosing opportunity instead of choosing an excuse.

So what's it going to be?

Will you make excuses or find opportunity?