Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Art VS Heart of Conversation


The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance. Aristotle

The primary use of conversation is to satisfy the impulse to talk. 

The power of conversation is immense.  

We use it to get our points across, to have our voice heard, to persuade, or to simply satisfy our need to talk.  The words we use, how we say them and when we say them have the power to make connections and open doors.  It is a skill and art form that can be the beginning or the end of opportunities and relationships.

The ART of conversation is what gets us heard.  It invites someone to interact.  It is the thing that sets our words apart.

But, the ART of conversation without the HEART of conversation, is not an interaction, it is broadcasting. 

The heart of conversation doesn't begin with our mouths. It is not about what words we are able to get out. It is not having exactly the right word and the perfect moment with exact timing and flare of delivery.  It is much less about what we say with words, and more about what we say with our presence.

The heart of conversation begins with our ears and our hearts.

The heart of conversation requires us to:
  • Shut our mouths and open our ears. 
  • Create a compassionate place in our heart to be open to what the other person is bringing to the interaction. 
  • Not formulate a response while the other person is sharing.
  • To resist the urge to speak, realizing that our need to spew words is often far less important than the other person's need to be heard.   
While the art of conversation invites someone to an interaction moment, it is the heart that makes it a communication event.  ART is the persuasion or sales pitch that says "Hello,  I have a great spot for you!" The heart of conversation is what leads to the spot on the conversation, invites  to sit down, assures  the spot is stable and safe, and allows a place for the other person to have a voice and be heard.

Woman Enough, not every conversation will have the same type of depth. But be aware of when you are relying only on the ART of conversation.  The HEART is a gift to the other person, but it is also a gift to yourself in the form of connection, learning and expanding your heart. Remember that the ART is about what you have to say, the HEART is about what the other person needs to be heard. Relying too heavily on ART and you are not conversing, you are broadcasting.

How are your conversations? Are they art-filled or heart-filled? 


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